Moving Forward
"A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again. Yes, they're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on." -Nora Mcinerny
Have I moved on?
No.
Moving on would mean that I have left Katy and Mike behind...and they are still very much with me in everything I do. They are a part of me... they move forward with me, with Patrick, with Riley and with Jarrod yes Jarrod. You may be asking yourself how they move forward with Jarrod... Jarrod never had the pleasure of meeting my beautiful, sassy first born. He never met my kind hearted, funny, intelligent husband Mike. But, he knows them through the stories and pictures we share. He knows that Katy's favorite colors were pink and purple and that she liked all things that glittered. He knows that she liked A1 Steak Sauce on just about everything she ate. He knows that Mike was Mr. Fix It and could fix just about anything... and that he was an amazing cook. He knows that together we were raising some amazing children. So yes Jarrod helps me bring them forward with us.
Have I moved forward?
Yes!
I laugh again... a true happy belly laugh... a laugh until you cry laugh a laugh I thought died with Katy and I certainty thought went when Mike died but, it's back and it wrinkles my nose and sometimes I snort. I smile a genuine smile. I'm happy! Maybe happier than I have ever been. It's a different happy. But I am so happy and I am content. I am at peace with everything that has happened in my life. It brought me to where I am today and I am pretty happy with where I am today. My kids here on earth are healthy and thriving, I am remarried to an amazing man who adores me. How can I not be happy? Sure I have moments when I am sad but to be honest they are few and far between. For me moving forward is focusing on the here and now while remembering all that I have and had... and when I do that I realize just how lucky I am.
Have I moved on?
No.
Moving on would mean that I have left Katy and Mike behind...and they are still very much with me in everything I do. They are a part of me... they move forward with me, with Patrick, with Riley and with Jarrod yes Jarrod. You may be asking yourself how they move forward with Jarrod... Jarrod never had the pleasure of meeting my beautiful, sassy first born. He never met my kind hearted, funny, intelligent husband Mike. But, he knows them through the stories and pictures we share. He knows that Katy's favorite colors were pink and purple and that she liked all things that glittered. He knows that she liked A1 Steak Sauce on just about everything she ate. He knows that Mike was Mr. Fix It and could fix just about anything... and that he was an amazing cook. He knows that together we were raising some amazing children. So yes Jarrod helps me bring them forward with us.
Have I moved forward?
Yes!
I laugh again... a true happy belly laugh... a laugh until you cry laugh a laugh I thought died with Katy and I certainty thought went when Mike died but, it's back and it wrinkles my nose and sometimes I snort. I smile a genuine smile. I'm happy! Maybe happier than I have ever been. It's a different happy. But I am so happy and I am content. I am at peace with everything that has happened in my life. It brought me to where I am today and I am pretty happy with where I am today. My kids here on earth are healthy and thriving, I am remarried to an amazing man who adores me. How can I not be happy? Sure I have moments when I am sad but to be honest they are few and far between. For me moving forward is focusing on the here and now while remembering all that I have and had... and when I do that I realize just how lucky I am.
Comments
Post a Comment